The House In The Desert
After a few days of wandering through the desert sea, we found ourselves in front of a small house. With some trepidation, I opened the front door and entered. She did not follow. As I turned around, I found her kneeling on the front steps shaking and sobbing. ”Why will you not enter?”, I asked, confused, “have we not found a most beautiful house?”. She said she could not enter, for the house was more beautiful than she deserved and she feared it as an illusion. Kneeling beside her, I held her close and promised to be by her side until she could see that it was she that was too beautiful for the house.
This continued for some time and I began to realize the depth of her despair. This was not something for me to solve and I could not once again lose myself in my own hopelessness. So with much regret I went off into the desert sea once more to give her the space she needed and to keep myself intact. In time, I hoped she would see the beauty inside her and learn to forgive and accept herself. As I renewed my journey I would occasionally look back at the house growing smaller on the horizon as my distance increased. She was never far from my thoughts, always just beneath the surface. I could not know for certain if she remained at the front steps of the house or if she had found the strength to move on. Yet I continued in the hope that soon she would illuminate the lights in the house that would lead me back to her.
Looking ahead I began to see the outlines of a great mountain range looming in the distance. Quickening my pace I wondered if had found a place to rest and renew myself. As I approached, I began to realize that this was not a place to rest, but a way out of the desert sea, a way that would prevent me from returning to the house that we had found. On the other side was my release and a new beginning, but also a vow to never return. I stopped dead in my tracks, unsure of what to do.
Hope and release were my desires and in each was an impossible choice.